Find A Fact

The Final Solution for Dating
by: Steve Sokolowski

I run a blog where I discuss the topic of the many games people play in the dating arena. I've posted hundreds of articles, many of which point out many of these troubles. Even if you haven't read the blog, you probably are aware of some of these schemes. While I wish it were easy to sum everything up into one neat, overlying problem, it's not that simple. Let me point out just a few of the issues.

For one, there's a definite lack of respect in dating nowadays. People don't even care about their partners enough to treat them as they deserve to be treated. Gossip, ridiculously high expectations, and rejections by ignorance are only some of the examples in this area. Grandparents are always carrying on about how today's generation has such a lack of respect. They talk about how, in their day, people cared about others and banded together through difficult problems. Why do they talk about these things? Because they're right! Through every activity in which I've been involved, I've encountered this problem. I'm tired of working for a hundred hours on a video project when the president of the organization receives but doesn't bother to even reply to your E-Mails asking him to review it. I'm sick of being ostracized from groups because I don't care to participate in their petty disagreements. And I'm exhausted after people expect me to work to death in volunteer organizations!

There are always exceptions to this rule, and I'm sure that there are many people who do have a great deal of respect for both their peers and their elders. Unfortunately, the majority, or at least the majority with the most influence, simply don't care.

Second, nobody is honest with themselves, let alone anyone else. Dating has turned into a torrent of backstabbing of which even Mark Burnett would be proud. Asking someone out is nearly impossible, because the gossip about it has already spread to a thousand people before you make the move. Then, when a rejection occurs (even if it's not rude), the rejector spreads rumors around to all his/her friends that cause them to completely ignore you, refusing to invite you to parties or even to initiate conversations with you. The biggest insult is that even if you asked point-blank, you'd still never get a truthful answer as to why such harm was directed towards you.

As if what occurs after a rejection isn't enough, people attempt to steal others' girl/boyfriends. One day, things are going well, and the next you find yourself wondering what happened to the relationship that was forming - that is, until you notice that person spending a lot of time with who you thought was your best friend. No explanation is offered, not even a "good-bye."

Third, people are not looking for someone who spends his or her time working to get ahead instead of getting flat-out drunk, who doesn't curse at or ignore his or her mate, and who actually makes time for whatever is occurring between them (whether it be a full-fledged relationship or just plain sex). They say they're looking for these things, but in reality, they're attracted to people with the attributes described above. "Confidence" is not the answer to the equation. Assuming they both possess the same level of "confidence," the above-described person would win every time over the "warm, caring, and intelligent" (wo)man that people claim is the ideal mate.

The list of problems goes on. You might be intrigued to hear that while the problems seem innumerable, I propose they can all be rectified with the simplest of solutions. There's no danger involved, nobody has to lead radical changes, and it doesn't involve an "impossible" fight against biology.

I simply propose for men to stop asking women out.

Not for the rest of your life, but for just a short time, say, a month. It's not impossible, and you won't have to do it as much after the month passes. While there are a few (rare) exceptions, the vast majority of women don't ask out men 50% of the time. Women do have the advantage in dating, and it's time to level the playing field. Sure, talk with women as friends, and if someone initiates a conversation with you, then definitely reciprocate. However, let the woman ask you out if she's interested, no matter how attractive she is to you.

Some women have never asked anyone out in their lives. It's no wonder why these women continually treat men like they're lower beings. If they had to put up with the rejections that most men do all the time, I guarantee that they would have more respect for men. Women would no longer put up with moving from guy to guy based on who was interested in her at the moment. And spreading gossip about potential romantic interests certainly isn't going to help one's prospects.

People need to realize that humans, for all their ancestry, are not monkeys or horses or rabbits. They're humans, who can think and act for themselves.

Men have so much more capacity in the dating arena than constantly looking for sex at all costs, if they would only exercise it. It's time to stop being prisoners to so-called "biology." Women have the same urges men do, and they should do half the work, not 10% or 20%.

There are a lot of "seduction communities" on the Internet that teach men how to "seduce" women. I don't know of any similar organization that teaches women how to impress men with the same fervor.

There's my proposal. I don't think it's hard to implement. Imagine if all the men even at one corporation or university decided to ban together. Laziness won't be a problem, becausenobody even has to do anything. It's time to change our distorted culture. All I'm suggesting is to promote equality. Is that such a bad thing?
About the author:
Steve Sokolowski is the editor of "Games are for Children" (http://www.shoemakervillage.org/games), a dating blog that implores people to rise above the pettiness present in today's dating world. He can be reached at awteen[at]shoemakervillage[dot]org.

Differece : Men V/S Women

Additionally, a female rarely says directly what she wants. Instead, she will use reverse psychology by asking the male a series of questions until she gets the desired answer. If she does not get the desired answer she will take the huffs and give the male 'the cold shoulder treatment'. She thinks this will alert the male that something is wrong and he will do what she wants….with out actually telling him |:(

Meanwhile the male is left dazed and confused as to what happened. After which an argument is usually required to get to the bottom of the problem. The whole situation could have been avoided if the female had stated directly what she wanted in the first place.

When asked why they do this, most women will either answer that they don't realize they're doing this or they simply don't know why. Many an argument could be avoided if what came out of a girls mouth was the same as the thought that was processed in her brain. But alas, it is not.

The classic example is a couple driving along a road. The female is hungry so she says to the male 'would you like to get something to eat?' The male replys 'no thanks I'm not hungry at the minute' and keeps driving. She then takes it thick because she didn't get the answer she was looking for. If she had said 'I'm hungry, pull in at the next shop so I can get some food' he would have done just that without question.

This all stems back to the fact that a female thinks with her emotions, not logic. This is why a male cannot understand a females rational. Males cannot read between the lines. They are not psychic or clairvoyant and they need everything spelled out to them in black and white.

Males often also complain that females are moody, have mood swings and show irrational or erratic behavior. This is especially apparent in times of stress, emergencies or significant events where body chemicals and emotions are highly stimulated.

Because a females behavior is affected by her emotions and her emotions are affected by her body chemistry and her body chemistry is in a state of flux from one month to the next, it can only be expected that a female would exhibit erratic behavior that is a mystery to a man whose body does not go through a constant monthly cycle of change. Re-read that last paragraph guys if it went over your head.

Unfortunately this behavior is genetically built into a females body. So sorry guys, you are going to have to live with it and while you can't get rid of it, you can at least be aware of it and try to understand it.

So in short, guys need to try to interpret better what a girl is saying, as it may not be exactly what she means. Girls need to try better to say exactly what they mean, if they want their guy to do what they want, without playing head games with them. Weather this is actually possible (as it goes against our genetic programming) is another case entirely.

About the author:
Jack Crow is a freelance writer and part time webmaster. When he's not building web sites he's checking out new dating sites that appear on the net.
To see what he thinks of them visit:
http://www.sexy-american-singles.com

Elena Solomon works in online dating since the early days of WWW. She is the exclusive dating consultant of Soulmades.com.au – Internet personals for singles seeking love, romance, relationships and fun

Elena is the author of "12 Simple Rules for Success in Love, Life and Online Dating". For a limited time, you can get this popular e-book absolutely FREE at http://www.soulmades.com.au/freebook (normally sells for $49.95
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